Masquerade
by Thumbtax
Summary: Marinette's been invited to a costume party, and Alya's made it her mission to ensure the night is a BIG success. I mean, how hard could it be to recognize Adrien behind a mask, anyway? Contains a streak of Hurt/Comfortiness, a lot of drinking, a lot of embarrassment, and some extreme making out. [Seems unlikely to be finished.]
1. Everyone's Invited

**Masquerade**

 **Chapter 1 - Everyone's Invited**

All characters are the property of their respective owners.

* * *

"I can't believe it," Marinette said, holding the card at arm's length and rereading the flowing script. _Miss DuPain-Cheng, you are cordially invited to the Top Social Event of the Season, a Grand Masquerade Ball-_

"That Chloe would declare her own party the highlight of the year before she's even had it?" Alya laughed, fanning herself with her own invitation. It was a warm spring day, and even in the shade of the trees which lined the boulevard, the air was a little too hot for comfort.

"No, _that_ part I believe. I mean I can't believe that she would invite _us._ It's not like we're friends. We don't even like each other!"

"Hey, if Chloe stuck to only people who _like_ her, it'd be a pretty small party. Not to mentioned a pretty disappointing masquerade." Alya slipped into an imitation of Chloe's haughty voice. "Ooh, it's midnight! Time to take off our masks and find out who the _one_ other person here is! _Mon dieu!_ Sabrina? I _never_ would have guessed!"

Marinette laughed. "I guess you're right. I just wish I knew what I was going to wear."

"Are you kidding? Marinette, fashion prodigy, doesn't know what to wear? Here's a hint: if the whole class is invited, that means you-know-whooooo is invited toooo! This is your chance to whip something up that'll make his jaw hit the _floor!_ "

"I-I don't know," Marinette stammered, blushing. "I-I-I-mean I don't usually wear my own designs..."

"Yeah, I've noticed," Alya said. "And it's such a waste! You make all this great stuff, and then you wear the same clothes practically every day. Not that it's not a cute outfit. And not that I'm one to talk, but I always figured a great designer would be more of a clotheshorse, you know?"

"Oh, uh, I don't really...I'm not a model or anything. I want my designs to be worn by someone, you know...beautiful? GAH!" She turned and bonked her head against the iron fence. "The second that was out of my mouth I realized what a sad sack that makes me sound like. I swear I'm not fishing for compliments. I know I'm not _ugly._ "

Alya put her hands on Marinette's shoulders and turned her around. "Marinette, you're more than 'not ugly'. You're beautiful, okay? I'd be saying that even if I wasn't your friend."

"Oh, come on, I'm not-"

"You are!" Alya took Marinette's chin in her hand and gently turned her so their eyes met. "I want you to say it. Say 'I'm beautiful'!"

Marinette rolled her eyes. "Okay. 'I'm beautiful.'"

"'And I'm _hot!_ '"

"'And I'm hot.' Alya, can I-"

"'I am going to literally charm the pants off of Adrien at the masquerade when he see me walk in in my Ladybug costume.'"

"'I am-'" Marinette turned beet red. "I... _really_ don't think I'm ready for anything involving pants _literally_ coming off, Ladybug costume or no-"

Her eyes opened wide.

" _Ladybug costume!?_ "

"Pretty good suggestion, huh?" Alya smiled. "You could make one by Saturday, easy, right? You would make _such_ a cute Ladybug. Adrien won't know what hit him!"

"Oh! Right!" Marinette said. "You meant a Ladybug costume for the party, a Ladybug costume I'm going to make and that doesn't exist yet, _that_ Ladybug costume! Ahahahaha!"

"Uh, you okay, girl?"

"Yes! I just...I was...surprised because...because Chloe will probably want to dress as Ladybug too, don't you think?"

Alya snorted. "So? It's not like she has _dibs_. It doesn't say 'No Ladybug Costumes' on the invitation."

"But-uh-"

Marinette tried to stall for time. Something felt distinctly dangerous about dressing up as Ladybug when she wasn't really _being_ Ladybug.

 _But I'm always Ladybug_ , she reminded herself, _and anyway, if I'm TOO against it, it's going to look like the ladybug doth protest too much!_

"Okay!" she said, plastering a smile on her face. "That's a pretty good suggestion, Alya. Just call me Ladybug!"

"Perfect! And, 'Ladybug', you can just call _me_ your lucky charm." Alya winked. "I'm a girl on a mission, and that mission is to get you together with Adrien."

"But we won't even know who's who," Marinette said. "It says here everyone's got to wear a mask and we don't take them off until midnight." Part of her believed that there was no way she wouldn't recognize the boy of her dreams immediately, mask or no mask-but how could she be sure? And with her luck, she'd probably spend all evening flirting with the wrong person and then die of embarrassment when midnight rolled around.

Alya grinned, her eyes sparkling behind her thick glasses. " _You_ just work on the costume. We'll figure something out."

* * *

Marinette bent over her handiwork, working her way down the seam with tiny, careful stitches. It felt weird to be _making_ a Ladybug costume.

"Maybe you should have spent longer looking in the mirror," Tikki said, peering over her shoulder. "It's lovely, but it doesn't exactly match your real costume."

"It's not supposed to, Tikki. I don't want to stroll in there looking _just like_ Ladybug! Anyway, I'm not sure I even _could_ replicate the costume. It doesn't even have a zipper. I'd have to crawl in through the neck! And the mask sort of... _fuses_ to my face."

She looked down at her half-finished creation. She'd started with the same basic idea, but where her real costume was minimalist, this one was ornate, with a ruffled skirt, puffed sleeves, and a more elaborate mask that joined the rest of the costume. The black domino mask sprouted sprung curlicues like a ladybug's antennae, and a pair of lightweight red and black wings rose from just above her left eye, curving over the top of her head like a fancy hat. It could have belonged to a Ladybug from around the time of the Revolution.

"It's not bad, but...do you think Adrien will like it? Do you think he'll guess that it's me?"

"Don't worry about that, Marinette. Just make a costume that's right for _you._ "

Marinette glanced over at her design sketches. Detailed costume plans were placed on a female form that was nothing but a few vague lines. Nothing more than a mannequin, really, or a stick figure in three dimensions. Literally faceless.

 _I knew this was for me_ , she thought. _Why did I draw myself like that?_

Defiantly, though she wasn't sure who she was defying, she picked up her pencil and gave the little mannequin and pair of pigtails and a very Marinette smile.

* * *

"I dunno, dude," Nino said uncertainly. "Isn't it supposed to be, like, a surprise?"

"I'm not saying you have to tell _everyone_ what costume Adrien is wearing. Just me."

"But...but we're supposed to guess, right? I mean, I've never been to one of these things, but..."

Alya laughed and scooted over on the bench, putting one arm around her boyfriend and resting her head against his shoulder. "Newsflash, honey. That 'guess who' stuff is for single people and people looking for an excuse to cheat. Don't tell me you're hoping to get Chloe alone in a corner..."

Nino made a face. "Dude!"

"Ha, I didn't think so. Relax, I'm just teasing you. But my point is...wouldn't you rather we recognize each other right off, so _we_ can find a little corner of our own?"

She leaned into him, pressing her flannel-clad body into his.

"You really will do, like, anything to get the scoop, won't you?"

She nuzzled his chin. "Mmm. Reporting is a dirty business."

"Okay, fine, I'll spill. Still don't know why you need to know _Adrien's_ costume, though..."

"Let's just say I _promise_ he'll be glad you did."

"Hey, anything for my best bud. Just one problem-I don't _know_ what he's wearing. I don't think _he_ even knows yet."

"Well," Alya murmured, "why don't you suggest something to him?"

"Like what?"

Alya considered. _Marinette is going as Ladybug..._

 _Oh._

 _Oh, that would be TOO perfect._

She whispered it into his ear, then placed a hand on his cheek and turned his face to hers for the kiss.


	2. Couples Are United

**Masquerade**

 **Chapter 2 - Couples Are United**

All characters are the property of their respective owners.

* * *

"Re- _lax_ , Daddy, it's fine, we're not going to wreck your stupid hotel." Chloe jammed one perfectly manicured finger at the 'hang up' button. "Ugh. Sometimes he drives me crazy. It's like he doesn't even trust me to have one measly little party."

"W-well," Sabrina said, eyes darting over to the champagne fountain. "There _is_ an _awful_ lot of alcohol here..."

"What, the fountain? That's just for looks, silly."

"Oh, good, because y-you know how you get when-"

"The alcohol for drinking is in those crates over there and _what do you mean_ 'how I get'?"

"Er, you know, when you've had a couple of drinks, you get...you get just a little...um..."

Chloe sniffed. "The word you're looking for is FUN. Now come _on._ I just got a text that our dresses were delivered."

"Our dresses?" Sabrina asked, following her into the elevator. "I thought you were wearing your Ladybug outfit."

"The one I've worn on TV? Twice? Yeah, nobody will guess who I am in _that._ " Chloe rolled her eyes as she flung open the doors of her private suite.

Two dresses were laid out on the bed. One of them was well-cut and tailored, but rather plain looking, almost drab, with a simple black domino mask lying on top of it. The other was-

Sabrina covered her mouth to stifle a gasp. It was beautiful. It looked like molten gold poured into a glittering sheath and rent with eye-popping swirls of midnight black. The mask was another domino, but of solid gold, and decorated with a finely-sculpted mosaic of onyx.

"Chloe, it's gorgeous!" Sabrina said, as she picked up her own plain dress. "You're going to be the most beautiful one at the party!"

"Of course I am, but not in that. That's your dress."

Sabrina blinked. "What?"

"I said you picked up the wrong dress, dummy."

Sabrina looked down at the dress she was holding. No, she'd picked up the ordinary dress, not that vision on the bed. Obviously she was having _some_ kind of hallucination, but was it her eyes or her ears that had gone wonky?

"You mean...you mean..." Sabrina squeaked, touching the dress with trembling fingers. "This is...mine?"

"Yes! Duh! How many times have I said that now-ack!" Chloe almost toppled over as Sabrina leaped on her.

"Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!"

"Ugh, you're welcome. Stop messing up my hair."

"But why?" Sabrina asked. "It's so beautiful. Why would you give it to _me?_ "

"Because I _always_ wear the most beautiful clothes, so if I wore that, it would obviously be me. Nobody would ever expect me to wear that ordinary, boring, Sabrina-ish dress over there." Chloe's eyes lit up. "I'll get to spy on everybody and listen to what they say about me when I'm not around! I'll be like a royal in disguise, going amongst the common folk and listening to them talk about their beloved princess, and even in my simple garments I'll outshine them all!"

Sabrina froze. "Chloe, I-I don't know if that's such a good idea..."

"What? Are you saying it's a _bad_ idea?"

"No, Chloe, you don't have bad ideas, but this one might be-" Sabrina gulped. "Maybe...a little less good...than usual?"

"Pfft, what do you know?" Chloe laughed. "This is going to be the _best_ party ever!"

Sabrina sighed and looked around the room. _Maybe if I hide everything breakable in the closet now, it'll survive the night..._

* * *

"Ow!" Alya said. "Okay, what did I run into this time? Felt like a billboard or something."

Marinette looked up at the sign her friend had just smacked into face first. WATCH YOUR STEP, it warned.

"Pretty much. Maybe you should take my arm?"

"Maybe I should have bought contacts," Alya sighed, rubbing her forehead. The golden bird mask covering the top half of her face was already looking dinged up. "Forget it. This is impossible."

She pulled her glasses out of her purse and put them on, balancing them on the bridge of her beak.

"Ohhh, that's better. Vision, how I missed you!"

Marinette giggled. "Sorry. They just look kind of ...silly...over your mask like that."

"Not as silly as I looked slamming into walls." Alya looked around. "So where are we? Last I saw we were on the Rue de Blurry somewhere near the Blue Smear That Might Be A River and-"

She looked Marinette up and down.

"Wow. You look amazing, girl."

"Aw, thanks," Marinette said. "I didn't have time to make all the revisions that I wanted-"  
"Stop making excuses! It's perfect, Marinette, perfect. Adrien's going to love it."

"If I can find him," Marinette said.

"Pfft, I told you, I'd handle it." Alya leaned in close, her wide amber eyes over the beak of the mask making her look like an owl. "A little bird's telling you that Adrien is going to be _dressed as a black cat_ tonight!"

"Wha-how do you know?"

"A good reporter protects her sources. Just trust me and cross paths with that black cat!"

"A black cat, huh?" She wondered if it looked anything like Cat Noir's costume. She tried to imagine what Adrien would look like disguised as Cat Noir, and wasn't sure if it would be sexy or just weird.

 _Weird,_ she decided. Not that Cat Noir was bad looking, but Adrien dressing up as her crime-fighting partner would just be strange-almost like if he started dressing up as Alya!

They approached the hotel, showed their invitations, and were waved in by the doorman. The overly-autotuned strains of XY's latest ballad were vibrating from the ballroom.

"Wait," Alya said, grabbing Marinette's hand. "Look, uh, this is a little awkward, but I don't know exactly how the night is gonna go, and just in case the answer is 'really well'-"

She pressed something into Marinette's hands that felt like a couple of wrapped pieces of candy.

"What's this?" Marinette asked, bringing them up to her face. "Breath mints?"

"Come on, girl, you're not _that_ innocent."

Marinette took another look at the packages. She flushed bright red. " _C-condoms?_ "

"Just in case, okay?" Alya gently closed Marinette's hand over them. "I'm not telling you to do anything you're not ready for. It's just...sometimes you're not sure you're ready until you are, and then you're somewhere where you can't get them, like stuck in a cage at the zoo...hypothetically...and you really wish you had 'em. Just, whatever happens, be safe, all right?"

"A-all right," Marinette said, stuffing them down in her purse. Her heart fluttered. Somehow, just acknowledging the possibility of anything happening made it seem real, in a way that was both exciting and a little uncomfortable.

"That's my girl," Alya said, beaming at her. "Let's go knock 'em dead."

* * *

"You're really going as a dead mouse?" Adrien asked.

"Not _a_ dead mouse, dude, I'm _the_ Deadmau5," Nino said, his voice muffled by the big plastic mouse head he was wearing. "The one who did those tracks I sent you? He's awesome."

"Oh, wait, is this that Deadmow-Five guy?"

"Yeah, uh, close enough."

Adrien sighed. Sometimes it was hard being so out of touch with the other kids. His first thought when he'd seen those tracks was that they might be hard to understand without listening to Deadmau 1 through Deadmau 4 first. Then again, Nino was into all kinds of weird musicians, so who knew how popular this guy really was?

He glanced at himself in a shop window and couldn't help but grin at the sight of himself in a perfect ordinary, non-magical mask topped with cat ears. If he wasn't sure that Nino would come right out with it if he knew, Adrien almost would have thought he suspected something when his friend suggested he go dressed as a black cat. It hadn't been too hard to put a costume together-all he needed to buy was the mask, which he paired with a black suit and turtleneck left over from a upscale menswear shoot.

 _Guess this won't be the first time a cat showed up bringing a dead mouse along_ , he thought.

He felt surprisingly at ease as he stepped into the ballroom of the Grand Paris Hotel, considering it was the first time he'd ever been to a costume party. It had to be the mask. There was something so relaxing about being able to put aside the life of Adrien Agreste, picture-perfect son of the great Gabriel Agreste and beloved of half the girls in Paris, and just be nobody but himself. It was one of the things he'd enjoyed most when he'd become Cat Noir-and he was shocked to realize how much he'd missed it, now that the Cat was famous in his own right. _Who would have thought I'd have ever been nostalgic for the days when I was just some weirdo in a cat mask?_

The decor conjured up elegance and decadence, with forests of candles and enough fancy food to feed the world's snootiest army. It was the perfect setting for a fancy-dress masquerade. About half of the invitees (and there were _lots_ of invitees-Chloe must have invited the whole school, and possibly a few others) had dressed in the sort of combination of formal wear and elegant masks the room seemed to demand. The others had interpreted 'costume party' more liberally. Most of them did still have masks, at least, although he spotted Alix over by the refreshment table in full zombie makeup, complete with fake intestines spilling out of her stomach.

 _Hmm. Who's who?_ he thought. This was going to be fun. Well, there was Alix. That couple on the dance floor-a hulking guy doing a surprisingly good job of waltzing with a short, chubby girl-that must be Ivan and Mylene. A redhead in a shiny dress walked by, surrounded by a crowd of guys-he was sure he hadn't seen _her_ before, so she was probably one of the kids from another school. Then there was the guy dressed up as Link, complete with a perfect copy of Majora's mask-that _had_ to be Max.

A girl in a golden bird mask and a familiar-looking pair of glasses walked past and flashed them a grin. Nino waved at her.

"Hey, Al-I mean, like, greetings, mysterious beautiful woman I've never seen before!"

Adrien mentally noted another name. The glasses were a big clue, and that clinched it-she was Alya, for sure. And the girl with her was-

He blinked.

 _Ladybug?!_


	3. Marinette Gets Medicated

**Masquerade**

 **Chapter 3 - Marinette Gets Medicated**

All characters are the property of their respective owners.

* * *

Ladybug?

Ladybug was here?

Adrien shook his head, bringing himself back to his sense. _Come on._ _If Ladybug_ is _here, she wouldn't be dressed up_ as _Ladybug. That's gotta just be a costume._

It was a beautiful costume, though, and the girl wearing it could probably pass for Ladybug, especially in the dim candlelight. He took a closer look at the dress. He was no designer himself, but you don't grow up in the same house as Gabriel Agreste without learning a thing or two, and he could tell it was very well made. A custom-designed original, tailored specifically for the girl wearing it-but the fabric used wasn't anything fancy or expensive, not like what you'd expect for something of such overall quality.

 _So it was made by a talented amateur,_ he concluded. _Did she make it herself? She'd have to be a really good designer..._

Oh, of course! He knew her now-this must be Alya's friend, Marinette. He'd known she was a good designer, but he hadn't realized she was such a Ladybug fan.

 _Huh, guess Marinette and I have something in common._

But he didn't want to spoil this for everybody else for everyone else, and as far as he could tell, pretending you didn't know who everyone else was was just part of how the game was played. So instead of greeting Marinette by name, he walked up to her, bowed, took her hand, and kissed it gently.

"Well, hello, my lady," he purred. "I don't believe we've had the pleasure of meeting."

"The pleasure's all yours, kitty cat-" Marinette said, and then her brain caught up to her mouth. _Black cat mask! Black cat mask! Remember where you are! That's_ Adrien _you're sassing!_ it yelled at her, and then it turned right around and continued, _Adrien just kissed you!_

 _Adrien kissed me!_

 _(On the hand.)_

 _THAT STILL COUNTS!_

 _And I pretty much told him to stick his kiss up his-_

 _Adrien kissed me!_

 _It's okay!_

 _He doesn't know it's me!_

 _So does that mean that kiss didn't mean anything?_

 _BUT IT STILL HAPPENED. SHUT UP BRAIN._

"Awahbuhbuh?" Marinette said. "I mean-yes. It's a pleasure to meet you, whoever you are!" Marinette said, grinning. "I mean, not that I know who you are or anything. That would just be crazy! It's a costume party, the whole point is that we don't know who anyone else is. I don't even know who _she_ is. I don't even know who _I_ am! So there's no way I could have any idea who you are, and I don't want to know, I mean, I do, but not in a cheating way, a 'wait until midnight' kind of way, not that I'm planning on us being together at midnight because how could I have planned that when I don't even know who you are-"

Alya's foot pressed down on hers. "Hey, 'Ladybug', I'm gonna grab some drinks for us and the guys. Help me out?"

Marinette clung to the suggestion like a drowning girl latching on to a pool noodle. "I'm blowing it, aren't I?" she mumbled as the got in line at the bar.

"You just need to calm down. Remember, he doesn't know who you are-so be yourself! If you do totally blow it, no big, all you have to do is leave your mask on and it's like it never happened. But between you and me, I don't think that's gonna happen. Because I _know_ you, and you are wonderful."

Alya chucked Marinette gently under the chin. "Got it?"

"O-okay."

"Good. Here."

Marinette looked at the glasses Alya had pressed into her hands. "For the guys?"

"Nope. _That's_ Dr. Cesaire's special nerve medicine. I'm prescribing you two drinks, no more, no less, so hurry up and pound 'em, girl."

"Er. Okay. If you think it'll help." Marinette put one of the drinks to her lips and chugged. "GLAAAGAH!" She coughed. "It really is like drinking medicine!"

"Really?" Alya frowned. "That was a Fuzzy Navel. It's almost the easiest drink there is. That...that _can't_ have been your first drink?"

"Yup." Marinette coughed again and raised the other glass.

"Oh, uh, in that case maybe you should stop at one-ah, well, there it goes."

"That _was_ easier."

"Yeee-eah. Please tell me you ate before you came."

"Not since lunch. Er, more like brunch. I was nervous!" Marinette said defensively. "I lose my appetite when I'm nervous."

"Well-you should be fine. Not like you're doing any brain surgery in the next couple of hours, right?"

Alya scooped up three more drinks and led Marinette back to Adrien and Nino. "Okay, we're back, and we come bearing booze!"

Marinette smiled at Adrien. She was starting to feel pleasantly giddy. _Is this what being drunk is?_ It wasn't like in movies and cartoons, where someone staggered around, acting like an idiot. She just felt loose and comfortable, like someone had covered all the frightened, nervous parts of her with a soft blanket. She felt... _confident._

 _Like being Ladybug._ She never worried about saying the wrong thing when she was in costume. And she was in costume now. So why worry?

"Sorry about before," she said. "What I meant to say was-"

Without pausing to fret or obsess or even think, she scooped up Adrien's hand in hers and planted a firm kiss on the knuckles.

"-that it's _very_ nice to meet _you_ as well."

He raised an eyebrow. "So the pleasure's not just all mine after all?"

She grinned. "Hopefully there'll be enough pleasure to go around."

 _Yeek! Did I just say that?_

 _I did! And he's smiling!_

"I think that's our cue to go mingle," Alya murmured to Nino, talking his hand in hers.

"Uh, yeah. Have fun, dude!"

Marinette didn't even notice them leave.

* * *

"I _wonder_ where our beautiful hostess Chloe is hiding?" Chloe said, cuddling up to a boy in a purple velvet mask. "She _could_ be practically anywhere. Even right under your nose. You never know. Isn't this a wonderful party? Isn't she the best?"

"Uh-huh," the boy said, pushing her away. "Um, can I ask you something?"

"Yes?"

"Do you know who she is?" He pointed to Sabrina, seated on one of the divans along the sides of the room, barely visible behind a crowd of boys. "She's...breathtaking..."

"I've never seen her before in my life," Chloe said sourly. "And now if you'll excuse me I need to have a little word with her."

She elbowed her way through the wall of admirers, eventually scrambling out from between a pair of knees and waving wildly to get Sabrina's attention. "Hey! Excuse me! Down here!"

"Oh, hi, Chl-you!" Sabrina said brightly. "Where have you been?"

Someone stepped on Chloe's shin. "I was outside your little...whatever this is," she said through gritted teeth. "We need to talk. Uh, in _private,_ if you don't mind."

Sabrina motioned with her hand, and the boys obediently turned around. She drew Chloe into a huddle.

"What's up, Chloe?"  
"What's up? _What's up?_ You practically abandoned me to run off with your harem!" Chloe snapped. "Just because we're incognito doesn't give you the night off, you know."

"I'm sorry!"

"Don't be sorry, be... _helpful!_ Which is one thing you're definitely _not_ being!"

"I'm sorry!"

"Who do you think's been getting me drinks while you're over here throwing yourself at everything with a pulse, huh?"

"Um-"

"Nobody, that's who! I had to walk all the way over to the bar _myself_ like an _animal!"_

"I'm so, so sorry!" Sabrina said, not looking all that sorry at all, honestly. "Really. I didn't mean to throw myself at anyone. It's just...you were right! You said you wanted to go incognito and I don't think anybody has even noticed you! Ooh, I feel like I could rule the world in this dress, I really do!"

Chloe fixed her friend with that my-Daddy-can-fire-your-Daddy look, the one she'd been using since grade school. "Well, don't get so caught up ruling the world that you forget who rules _you._ I could take that dress right back if I-"

A heavy hand fell on Chloe's shoulder. "Is she bothering you?"

"No!" Sabrina said quickly. "No, she's fine. We were just talking. Actually, if one of you boys could do me a _biiiig_ favor and get my friend here a drink-"

There was a general scramble over to the bar. Everyone wanted the chance to do a favor for the mysterious redhead, but nobody wanted to get stuck outside of the crowd, so at the end of it Chloe had six drinks and no boys.

"Hey! How am I suppose to hold these?" she complained, trying to maneuver one to her lips without spilling the others. "I'm going to drop them! Ugh, fine, I guess I'll just drink them fast."


	4. Adrien Gets Osculated

**Masquerade**

 **Chapter 4 - Adrien Gets Osculated**

All characters are the property of their respective owners. (Note: things may be heading into a bit of a hurt-comforty direction...)

* * *

They stood on the hotel balcony together, the lights of Paris spread out before them like glittering jewels. Marinette turned to look at him. Ever in disguise, he was perfect. Those perfect lips, that just-strong-enough-to-be-cute-without-being-TOO-prominent chin, those perfect lips-okay, so she really liked the lips, what was wrong with that?

He turned suddenly and caught her staring. She grinned back at him and leaned casually against the railing.

 _Wow, the old Marinette probably would have freaked out and melted into a puddle, or gotten so flustered she fell off the balcony. I didn't even miss the railing-there it is right under me and everything. What's_ with _me tonight?_

When she was Marinette she was... _Marinette_ , and when she was Ladybug she was usually dodging mind-control gas or Tyrannosaurs or invisible bazooka fire. Honestly, it was kind of a relief to be nobody in particular at all for a while.

"Pretty romantic, isn't it?" she said, nodding at the city.

"The view is purr-fect," he said.

 _Was that a cat pun? Please tell me that mask isn't corrupting him. Then again, the real Cat Noir probably would have gone with something about half as obvious and a dozen times worse..._

"You're not even looking at the city, kitty."

"That wasn't the view I was talking about."

 _VOOP VOOP VOOP! This is the engine room of the S. S. Marinette! I think one of the pipes sprung a leak because it's getting steamy in here!_

"You know what happens at midnight, right?"

"Uh, no-this is my-my first masquerade party, actually."

"Oh, well-at midnight we're supposed to take our masks off and reveal our identities. Then we're supposed to kiss whoever we're with." She assumed it worked that way, anyway. Why not?

"We do, huh?"

"Y-es," Marinette said, "It's a big moment. So I was just thinking-we don't want to mess up a _big moment,_ right?"

"That would be pretty awkward."

"Exactly!" She took a deep breath. "So I was thinking-maybe, before that happens, we should, you know...practice?"

"Practice?"

"Practice...kissing."

Adrien looked down at the girl in the Ladybug costume, scarcely able to believe his ears. Was this really the same Marinette he knew from school? The shy, slightly aloof girl who usually barely bothered to say two words to him? He'd always sort of liked that about her-maybe because she was one of the few girls he'd met who wasn't harboring some sort of crush. (It might have been easy to be flattered by that, but it was hard to shake the feeling they had crushes on his photos and posters more than on him.) She'd never been one of his closest friends, but she was a good one. _That_ Marinette was _flirting_ with him? Not even really flirting-more like outright making an offer.

 _Well-why not?_ The freedom of wearing a mask could be intoxicating. He knew that as much as anyone, didn't he?

She wasn't dating anyone, as far as he knew. Neither was he. And the way she looked in the moonlight...

Why _not_ practice?

He took her hand and pulled her to him. Her eyes widened. He put an arm around her back and lifted her up, and then her lips were on his.

 _VOOP VOOP VOOP! This is the engine room again, pipes are exploding, there's steam everywhere, the ship is me-e-elting, please_ don't _send_ _help!_

She couldn't believe it. Her lips...and Adrien's lips...in the same place, touching each other, kissing! Her first kiss, and it was with _Adrien!_ (Well, first, except for that time during the fight with Dark Cupid...but that was _Cat Noir_ , it didn't count.)

She wrapped her arms around him and leaned in closer. The soft material of their masks pressed together. She felt as if she's stepped outside herself, as if she were watching a movie-this kind of stuff didn't happen in real life, not to her.

"Mm," she breathed, "A-"

 _Woops, he can't know you know!_

"Ayyyyyyy...ay-maz-ing," she finished, nuzzling his neck. She kissed him gently near his ear, inhaling the tropical scent of his shampoo and the faint musk of perspiration and even the slightest hint of some kind of stinky cheese (only a little, thank goodness!) She felt his hand moving down her back and shuddered, her belly flooding with warmth.

Something had to happen to interrupt them, right? Someone would burst in. An Akuma would attack. One of them would faint from lip exhaustion. But nothing was happening, and Adrien showed no signs of breaking the kiss, and _she_ certainly wasn't going to do it.

 _Did that mean...they were going to...?_

"I..." she murmured into Adrien's ear, "I brought...just in case, I mean...I have protection. You know, in case. Not that I'm saying-"

 _God what was she doing just flat out propositioning him holy hell girl._

"-I-I just want you to have all-all the necessary information-so we can both m-make an informed decision-mmph-about where things go from here-"

She was losing it. She felt her confidence slipping away.

 _Ladybug, be Ladybug, be Ladybug!_

She opened her eyes, and the world seemed to turn black and white. The piece fell into place. Adrien. _Ding._ The king-sized bed in one of the open guest rooms. _Ding._ That little package from Alya. _Ding. That's it!_

Apparently, she _was_ going to. She was going to and it was going to be amazing, and she would never have to worry about what people would think because nobody would know, not even Adrien, really. She'd just be this mysterious, wonderful girl who he'd always remember. Until they were married of course, and then she'd probably have to come clean about it and they'd have a good laugh, and then on to the three babies and the hamsters and all those wonderful, magical things. It all started here, tonight.

* * *

Kissing Marinette was...interesting. Not that he had much experience himself, but he could tell she had even less. She was...well...sloppy. She was warm and she was passionate and she was enthusiastic, but she was also kind of all over the place. It was a little like being jumped by a playful puppy-if the puppy also happened to be a cute girl who really did look an awful lot like Ladybug in that costume. Except, unlike Ladybug, she actually wanted him.

 _She doesn't even know who you are,_ he reminded himself. _She's just...just throwing herself at...at what you look like! It's no different from those girls who fall in love with your poster. She's not even seeing your whole face. For all you know, she's got a secret crush on Cat Noir and just likes that you're dressed as him!_

She had been awfully...flighty and fannish and not very Marinette-like at all when he'd come to visit her as the Cat during the fight with Evillustrator. Maybe that was all this was.

Which means, he realized, she was secretly making out with her crush and she didn't even know it! But...didn't that make it...okay, in a way? She was so warm and sweet and wriggly in his arms. If nothing else, he could be sure he wasn't pressuring her into anything. She was so... _eager._

And she looked so much like Ladybug. Nobody would ever know. He could pretend she was Ladybug. He could finally hold his lady in his arms, kiss her, experience everything he'd dreamed of with her, even it was just a fantasy. He could use Marinette as a substitute Ladybug, and-

 _No!_ As soon as he'd finished thinking it, he felt disgusted. _Use_ Marinette-that's what he was trying to give himself permission to do. _Use_ her as some kind of sex toy. How could he do that to her-to a friend-even if that was what she thought she was doing to him? And how could he do it to _Ladybug?_ How could he ever look her in the eye again?

He pulled away. She looked up at him, face flushed, beaming, hanging on his every word, his every motion.

"I think-I think maybe we should get back to the party."

She frowned. "We-I thought-?"

"Well, we don't," he forced a chuckle, "we don't want to move too fast, right?"

She shook her head. "No, it's fine. We can do whatever you want to do. I'm...I'm ready."

"Well-I'm not. I'm sorry."

"Did I do something wrong?" Her face tightened. "Am I a lousy kisser?"

"No, it's nothing you did. I just think-I just think we shouldn't jump right into this. We don't even know each other."

"I understand." She turned away with that look on her face, the one she wore at school when she came in late or when she forgot her homework or when Chloe found some opening to needle her, and Alya or one of her other friends tried to comfort her. It was a sour, bitter, scared look that said _I don't care what you say, I know this was all my fault. I've ruined everything. Again._

She walked away, holding her back stiffly. He couldn't let her leave like this.

"Wait!" he called, clapping a hand on her shoulder. "Marinette, please, let's talk about this-"

 _Marinette._

He clapped his other hand to his mouth, too late. He felt her body go as rigid as stone.

"Oh no," he breathed. "I'm sorry. Look, it's me, Adrien, okay? Now we both know."

She turned, slowly, as if she were frozen and the slightest bump would shatter her, her face a mask of horror and shame.

* * *

 _He knew. He knew it was me, somehow. Of course he did! This is just a stupid costume! It's not magic! It's just a stupid mask and a stupid dress._

 _I'm such an idiot, and now he's seen me acting like...like..._

Just thinking of it made her sick to her stomach. She'd thrown herself at Adrien, and she'd _disgusted_ him. Even Chloe hadn't gone beyond trying to steal a kiss. It was over. He'd never respect her again. She didn't think he would spread it around the school-he was too perfect for something like that. But god! Everything she'd just said to him...every time he looked at her, he'd be _thinking_ it.

She yanked her shoulder free of his hand and stumbled down the hall, her vision already blurring.

* * *

"Marinette!" Adrien cried. "Marinette, wait! I'm sorry! Can't we talk about-"

No good. She was gone. Into the elevators? Down the stairs? Into a room? He had no idea. All he knew was that she was alone, and she was heartbroken, and-

-and everyone knew what happened to lonely, heartbroken people in Paris nowadays.


	5. Marinette Gets Marinated

**Masquerade**

 **Chapter 5 - ... And Marinette Gets Marinated**

All characters are the property of their respective owners.

* * *

"Marinette, I've tried to stay out of the way tonight," Tikki said cautiously, "because I wanted you to be able to make your own decisions, but...but I'm not so sure this is a good one..."

"Leeme 'lone, Tikki," Marinette slurred, dribbling what was left of her drink down her chin. "I ruined everything! I'll never be able t'look Adrien in the face ever never ever again!"

"I probably should have said something earlier," Tikki sighed, "before you had... _quite_ so many consolation drinks, but don't you think you should slow down?"

"It doesn't matter. Nothin' matters. So I mighaswell enjoy myshelf." Marinette hiccupped. "I'm shick of bein' stupid boring old dumb old lame old Marinette anyway. I wanna have fun for once."

"You can have fun without being completely hammered, can't you?"

"No I can't! 'Cause I'll remember being humilated! I'm gonna drink until I forget all about it."

"It looks like you've already forgotten how to stand up..."

Marinette steadied herself against the table. "'M okay." She managed to slosh another drink into her plastic cup without losing more than half of it.

Then, just as she was raising it to her lips, someone bumped into her from behind and knocked the drink out of her hands. She looked down at the stain soaking into her shirt, putting the pieces together.

"Hey, watch-watch where you're-"

"Oh em gee! Is that a toy ladybug?" Chloe slurred. "Ohhhh, that's so cute."

Tikki instantly stopped moving and played dead, or at least inanimate. Taking the hint, Marinette scooped her up and tucked her away.

"Yep, she's like my...my...my lucky charm!" Marinette said. She laugh-snorted. Then she clapped a hand over her mouth, half because she'd just _snorted_ and half because this was _Chloe_ and there's no way she just had a positive emotion connected to _Chloe._

"I don't get it." Chloe leaned against Marinette. "Ugh! I'm having the _worst_ night," she groaned.

"It can't be as bad as mine."

"It's _my_ party and nobody's even noticed me!"

"I _wish_ nobody had noticed me!" Marinette giggled. Where had a _giggle_ come from? "I'm so lucky I'm drunk right now because if I was sober I'd probably just wanna find a hole and crawl in and die."

"Pfft, like anybody even cares what you do. Except me. Because I'm desperate." Chloe sniffled. "Ugh. I'm _so_ desperate, I'm actually hanging out with Marinette! That's what a desperate nobody I am!"

Okay, positive emotion fading. (If there was one thing Chloe could do lighting-quick it was wipe out a positive emotion.) Memories of humilation resurfacing. Blubbering freakout imminent.

Marinette poured another drink down her throat to drown it. Okay, that was better. No more freakout. Of course now the floor felt like it was slowly rolling up and down like the deck of a ship, but...

"Ugh. Another text from Daddy. Blah blah blah thousand-euro credit card bill blah blah blah hotel guests complaining. Ignore!" Sniffing, Chloe dropped her phone in her purse. Well, she tried to. Actually, she dropped it in a platter of hors d'oevres.

"Maybe...maybe you oughtta call him back," Marinette suggested, her inner good girl just managing to stay afloat in the sea of alcohol.

"Pfft. No." Chloe blinked. "All Daddy does is whine when I spent money. And Sabrina is a backstabbing skunk. And Adrikins never wants to hang out anymore. You know what, Marinette?"

"What?"

"You're probably, like...my best friend now."

" _What?_ "

Chloe flopped bonelessly against her, rested her head on Marinette's shoulder, and whispered theatrically in her ear. "You're all I got left. This is your big chance. Normally someone like you would never get to be my friend in a million years but I'm lonely an' I'm drunk an' I reeeeeeally need a new Sabrina."

"I don't think I wanna be the new Sabrina," Marinette said, trying to escape from Chloe's limp-spaghetti embrace, which wasn't easy when her own limbs definitely felt like they were turning into _some_ kind of pasta themselves. "I don't think Sabrina even wants to be Sabrina."

"Well, tough muffins, you're gonna be. Issa honor. You oughtta be happy," Chloe insisted. She scooped two brimming glasses out of the champagne fountain and offered to Marinette. "Here! A toast to our new friendship!"

"I think-" Marinette began, trying to wave it away, "I think maybe I should stop drinking now..."

" _Tougher_ muffins!" Chloe pushed the drink into Marinette's face. It was drink or have it spilled all over her. Marinette drank. Chloe threw hers back too.

"Yeah! Woo!" Chloe threw her glass across the room. "Friendship drink! Wasn't that _awesome?_ "

"No," Marinette belched. The room was really starting to resemble a carousel now. Spinning, spinning, spinning...

Chloe scooped out two more glasses. "Okay, whatever, we'll try it again."

* * *

"So do we take our masks off, or..."

Alya smirked. " _You_ are taking yours _off._ I'm not making out with guy in a Roadkill Mickey Mouse costume."

"It's Deadmau5!"

"Whoever. As for me-I don't know, what do you think?" She sat down on the edge of the bed, flashing him a seductive half-smirk. Her glasses slid down her mask's golden beak. "Want to make sure it's really me?"

"Like, I know it's really you. But why don't you take it off anyway? I kinda want to see who I'm making out with."

Alya took the mask off and toss it onto a chair.

"Hey, there she is." Nino took her chin in his hand and gently raised her head so he could kiss her on the forehead. She shuddered-just a little, but he felt it.

"What's wrong?"

"Oh. Nothing, sorry. How about one on the lips?"

"No, really. If you're, like, if you're not in the mood right now, that's totally fine."

"I am! I'm-it's fine. It's stupid, okay?"

"Really, if you're not, uh, comfortable or whatever..."

"I _want_ to make out, Nino. It's just-god, this is going to sound stupid." She forced a laughed. "Just now, you kissed me on-on my spot."

"Your spot?"

"My spot! My mole. You know. I used to be really self-conscious about it. Remember in elementary school how I had those huge bangs? And I guess for a second I thought-'oh no, not there, now he'll be grossed out'."

"Alya, your mole is totally beautiful, like the rest of you. But if you don't want me to kiss you there-"

"Oh, trust me, I want you to kiss me _everywhere._ Got it?"

Nino smiled. "Can do."

She felt his lips on hers, and then-

The door burst open.

"Come _onnnnn,_ you have to try it _on_ at least!" Chloe whined, dragging Marinette into the room. "I need a replacement Cat Noir now that stupid Sabrina is doing her own thing. If Sabrina can fit in the suit I know you can, you're such a twig, ugh, I hate you."

"Ch-chloe...I really need to lie down...really...please..." Marinette groaned. Her face was somewhere between ghostly white and pale green. She hiccupped.

"Marinette!" Alya said.

"Alya?"

"You!" Chloe shrieked, pointing a wobbly finger at Alya. "You-whatsername-the one who's always in plaid, and you, uh, girl in plaid's boyfriend! What are you doing making out in _my room?_ This isn't a hotel, ya know!"

"Well, technically-" Alya began.

"No technically! No nothing! Get out! I'm going to play with my new friend here."

"Alya..." Marinette moaned, staggering towards the bed, "Alya...I don't feel so good..."

"How much did you _drink,_ girl?" Alya said, catching her before she could collapse.

"We're just havin' a little fun," Chloe said. "And you can butt right out."

"I'm not leaving her with _you,_ " Alya snapped. "How much booze did you give her, anyway? She could have alcohol poisoning!"

"I think I just have to...have to..." Marinette clapped a hand to her mouth. "Oh, gawwwwwd. I'm gonna lose it."

"Well, don't lose it here! This is a designer carpet!" Chloe snarled. "If you _must_ do something as _gauche_ as vomiting, do it in my private refreshment chamber."

"Come on, Marinette, I've got you." Alya helped her miserable friend into the bathroom. "Come on, lean over the... oh god, Chloe, really? A solid gold toilet?"

"My skin is too delicate for common porcelain," Chloe sniffed. She pointed at Nino. "And as for you, what are you still doing here?"

"Uh, making sure you didn't just poison Marinette? She's my friend too, you know." Nino frowned. "Maybe you should cut down yourself. I mean, a party's a party, but isn't this getting a little out of hand? Last I saw the hotel was getting totally trashed."

"Hmmph. That's what maids are for."

"Won't your dad be kinda mad, though?"

"Oh, Daddy wouldn't _dare_ be mad at me." She puts her hands on her hips and stared him down. " _I_ am Daddy's princess. _I_ am Daddy's perfect angel. That's why I can do anything I want and it never, ever bothers Daddy one little bit-"

The wall exploded, burying both of them in an avalanche of dust and pulverized wood. Outside, in the open air of a Paris night, an expensive-looking black leather executive chair floated in midair. In the chair was a tiny body dressed in an armored business suit, and on top of that body was a head the size of a sofa. It was so gigantic, it was hard to recognize who it was at first, but then...

"Is that...the mayor?" Nino asked, poking his head up from the rubble.

"Your beloved mayor Andre Bougeouis is _gone!_ " roared the man with the giant head, pulling out a giant golden pen and waving it threateningly. "I am Head of State! And I'm about to sign a law officially outlawing all teenagers _forever!_ "

"Well, maybe it bothered him a _teensy_ bit," Chloe admitted.


	6. Hotel Not Evacuated

**Masquerade**

 **Chapter 6 - Hotel Not Evacuated**

All characters are the property of their respective owners. This chapter's very short, but I wanted to add at least something, since I haven't in a while!

* * *

"New civic ordinance!" roared Head of State, sweeping his pen around. "All teenagers must clean their rooms!"

"You're the one who made the mess in the first place, Daddy!" Chloe retorted, red-hot fury cutting through her drunken fog as Head of State's powers forced her hands to pick up a broom. "Knocking down my wall! It's going to take Sabrina forever to clean up all this debris and-"

"New civic ordinance! Teenagers may not sass back!"

"Mmmph!" Chloe said. She put a hand to her mouth. "MMPH? MMRH RMMPH FMMPH?"

"No sass here, dude-I mean, sir!" Nino said hastily. He knocked on the bathroom door. "Uh, guys? I think maybe we ought to book it while Chloe is still drawing parental fire."

"G-give us a minute!" Alya called. She stroked Marinette's hair gently, reassuringly. "Come on, girl. Get all that bad stuff out of you."

"Oooogh," Marinette moaned into the toilet.

"Don't worry about him. We'll be fine." Alya bit her lip. "Ladybug will save us. Any minute now she'll show up and kick this oversized head right back to the mayor's office."

Something slammed into the door hard enough to crack it. "Uh, Alya, maybe hurry it up in there?" Nino's voice said, rising in panic.

"'M not done," Marinette groaned. The door burst off its hinges as Head of State loomed into the room.

"Yes you are let's _go go go now!_ " Alya said, yanking her off her feet and dragging her under the oversized chin and through Head of State's legs. Marinette staggered down the hall after her, barely able to keep upright. Her head was spinning like an alcohol-soaked top. _What'll I do?_ she thought desperately. _I can't be Ladybug like this! I guess it's up to you, Cat Noir!_

* * *

 _I guess it's up to you, Ladybug,_ Adrien thought. _At least it's starting to look that way!_ As the other party guests ran for their lives across the lobby, he dug through the refreshment tables, scattering wedges of brie and balls of fresh mozzarella willy-nilly.

"No time for a snack break!" Nino yelled as he pelted down the stairs. "The latest evil dude is right behind me! We gotta run!"

"Just a minute-I-I'm looking for my, uh-important-thing!" Adrien said. _Come on, Plagg, where are you?_

"New civic ordinance!" roared Head of State as he stomped down the stairs. "I'm declaring a curfew for everyone under the age of thirty-five!"

The doors of the hotel slammed shut and sealed just as the first guests reached them. They pulled on the handles and pounded on the glass-Ivan even threw a chair-but nothing could break the magical barrier of municipal law. They were trapped.

"Mmmph!" Chloe mmmphed, kicking at the glass with one expensive shoe. "SMMBMMPNMMPH! Thmmph mmph mmmph _ymmmph_ fmmph!"

"My fault?" the masked girl in the gold dress said, looking confused. "I don't see how, but-if you say so, Chloe."

"You speak mmph," one of the girl's admirers says. "You're bilingual. That's so cool!"

"MMMPH!" Chloe mmphed again, stomping her foot.

"So, how'd it go?" Plagg said, popping up from over an overturned platter. "Did you have a nice romantic evening with 'Ladybug'?"

"There you are! And I'd rather not talk about it. And we've got bigger problems right now, in case you haven't noticed!"

"Wow," Plagg said, spotting Head of State for the first time. "Talk about a weirdo! No wonder he's upset. I think his head is actually bigger than the whole rest of his body. What a freak!"

"He's also been akumatized, and there's no time to lose!"

"I don't know-are you sure you want to get rid of someone who actually managed to make Chloe shut uuuuup-oof!" Plagg said as he was scooped up. Ducking under the table, Adrien took one last look to make sure nobody was watching and muttered under his breath. " _Claws out!_ "


End file.
